I’ve been dealing with a bit of frustration and disappointment over the last week or so, and as a result, my work-out routine as well as my blog writing has been inconsistent and out-of-sorts. I actually convinced myself that I didn’t actually need to work-out, which hasn’t really happened in months. Lucikly, it only lasted a couple of days, and I came around, and this past weekend, I dug deep and got the hell out the door and wogged 3 miles (the cross between a walk and a jog–speedwise), but I did it, and it reminded me that stamina and endurance is just as important as speed. I was slow at times and faster at times, but I was out there doing it. It felt good, too, not painful or deeply out of breath. I could feel my body relax and the stress leave my body, and I was reminded why a walk isn’t always enough–that I have to dig deeper and push through resistance for increasing results in speed, stamina, and endurance. It’s a metaphor that sometimes slow, deliberate, and the long view has benefits.

Some days just suck and some weeks are better than others, but to remember this is just a day or a week is sometimes hard to hold on to when through no fault of your own or maybe because of something you did do or didn’t do or perhaps because it’s April, and students are panicked, and faculty are tired, and I just happen to be in a position to help others solve their problems. This results in serious frustration, which is a difficult emotion to deal. I notice then that my own work is not getting done, the emails are piling up, and everyone of them is urgent to the person sending them, and I think to myself, enough already. Yesterday, I came home, answered a couple of emails and decided it could all wait until today. And you know what, I woke up this morning and went for another wog!

And yesterday and today has presented with numerous frustrating situations.  My go to for feeling frustration is to solve the problem or formulate a solution; however, there are times especially when others are involved in the situation where this doesn’t work and you just have to let it go, do the best you can, and ask for help.

Meanwhile, my car is in the shop and had to be towed, and I’m arranging rides to and from walk and from being stranded. All I can think is how blessed I am that I live so close to ECU I could walk if I had to, and I have friends I can ask for rides, and they are more than welcome to schlep me around. As a result, I was able to go in early and get some work done and come home earlier than usual and get some more work done.

It’s my birthday week, and I could be resentful of all the frustration (and some disappointment) but instead all I can do is remember a great part in Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (I highly recommend this book. It is brilliant!) where she discusses the Dig Deep button we all have.

The dig-deep button is a secret level of pushing though when we’re exhausted and overwhelmed, and when there’s too much to do and too little time for self-care (19).

And there’s something to be said for pushing through even when we’re soooo tired and exhausted, but she proposed that “there was something better than sucking it up” (20). She describes how to DIG deep when you’re so tired, exhausted, frustrated, etc to do one more thing and get:

• Deliberate in your thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, or by simply setting your intentions;
• Inspired to make new and different choices;
• Going. Take action

What I wasn’t able to process last week and I know today after a restorative, relaxing weekend where I engaged in self-care by reading, watching netflix, walking, and just hanging out with my partner and friends, is that when we are most frustrated or disappointed or even sad, we must DIG deep!